ENCHANTED

Oblivion perfuming my senses,
Darkness alluring me into Her crevices,
Where all is silent except the rambling moonlight,
Where madness is not an illness but a consecration in disguise.

Awake with the my eyes shut tight,
I shiver as She creeps up my skin,
Till she becomes a part of me,
And I become a part of Hers.

Clutched in crushing embraces,
That numbs pain and alleviates the senses,
I exhale all that’s forged in me,
And let loose the stains that waited to be free.

My soul begs to detach,
But my limp body wont move.
She coos in my ears like my lover,
Unleashing all my insecurities, from all that I ever cowered.

She traces her fingers on my skin,
Opening new wounds that leave no scars,
I bleed all my defences,
Weakening as I watch.

My blood soaked clothes pull me down
And she smiles as she watches me fall.
Her cold lips press against my hand,
As I rise back into her arms,
Closer than ever, weaker than ever.

I STEPPED INTO YOUR WORLD LAST NIGHT

I stepped into your world last night,
With pallid peasants and defrocked knights.
And on a throne of humiliation and despair,
My love, my emperor, I saw you seated with a satisfied air.

With grey eyes that seem to consume me,
With words that prod at your bitterness on not being admired for all that you have done and seen,
My love you made me proud,
With your stained costume and your disgraced crown.

Wanting to be by your side,
I had spurned my attire of fake joy and delight,
And donned the charred, blemished robes that you offered,
And hid in your wounded arms for the comfort that they proffered.

I sat amidst your orchids destroyed,
Silent so that I could hear the currents pray.
From the atop the tower of my failures, I gazed at your kingdom, the beautiful void,
Abandoned by sunshine and moonlight, boarded by the dejected and the deprived.

As darkness succeeded twilight,
We sank together on to the cushions of pain and pillows of fright,
Covered ourselves with sheets of melancholy,
Huddled in each others arms,
Wished each other good night.
And I was stepped back into verity, bidding you, my true love, goodbye.

UNTIL

As she holds me to her bosom,
I can feel her sadness choking me.
And her fears like fingers,
Run erotically on my spine.

As I touch her she withdraws,
Morphing into an obscure softness
That comforts as she holds me there,
Singing to me in her entrancing voice.

I weep crouching like a child,
My tears staining her heaving chest.
She soothes me with her sighs,
In a way words could never comfort.

I could lie here all night,
Shielded by melancholy,
Wrapped in the scents of oblivion,
Tantalised by the voiceless night.

As I lay there I pray,
That nauseating pains erupt,
Till a numbness sets in,
And the fear of death forever goes away.

WHEN SHE SINGS

I coax her to sing,
To sing with her somnolent voice,
To wake up thats dead inside,
And she sings, she fills up my void.

Her plodding song rings in my ears,
And entering my mind smears me with blue,
Her gentle words trickle, moisting my demons,
And then she moves ahead, cutting like shears.

Touching the forgotten lanes,
It rouses the choas dormant for years,
It brings back the thoughts expelled by fear,
All that was asleep for so long, all that i thought had long gone.

Strumming the rusting strings of despair, her chant leads me back to the dark,
Who stands like an estranged mother with arms open wide,
And as my tears try to flush out this joy,
They are frozen im midst of their thoughtless ploy.

Her words heal my heart,
Wiping the bruises left by those once near, now so far.
Her song glazes my heart with ice,
Cramming cold into my insides.

And with this change comes ecstasy,
Forbidden forever but longed for so long.
A sense of peace erupts
Clouding my judgement of what is right and what is wrong.

No rhyme, no rhythm,
It all seems like a blind rush of lines,
But the song of melancholy is morose like death,
Yet as beautiful as joy bought by a new life.

BACK TO CINDERS

Cry Cinderella, cry,
Let the tears roll.
Scream Cinderella, scream,
Let it all out.

Sink into your miseries, let the fears flow,
Let them see and feign awe.
Loose self-control.
Fall Cinderella, fall,
Fall to the bits you are made of.

Let the glass slippers break,
Swim out of this fairy tale.
No need to smile anymore, no need to be good anymore,
Bleed Cinderella, bleed,
Till all the lies gush out.

Paper-thin happiness,
Trying so hard to veil the humiliation inside,
Mirthless laughter trying so desperately to conceal hatred,
Stand Cinderella, stand,
Let the false covers split apart.

Let despair cascade,
Let it pile on the floor.
Don’t bother to clean up tonight,
Let the scars show,
Watch them in their fineries put up an act of disgust.
Speak Cinderella speak,
You’ve been silent for too long.

Cry Cinderella cry,
Let the tears roll.
Scream Cinderella scream,
Let it all out.

5/11/04

last night was terrible. i forced myself to sleep after 3 nights of staying awake. (ahem..not an insomaniac, i stay awake jus bcuz i sleep thru the day). i struggled and struggled and forced myself but :p. jus no way! my cousin came in for the weekend and she just kept on snoring and snoring and snoring. so cuz i cudnt sleep an my head was howlin in pain i decided to find some way to shut her up. i tried pushing her to the other side, i clapped, slapped but dint work. i tried stuffin one of her nose. BIG MISTAKE. she was sounding like a....umm....i dunno, she was jus loud, VERY loud. i tried whisperin in her ears, tried wakin her dint work so i finally gave up after like 20 minutes. an o boy was i pissed or wut! then she starts snoring agin an an thats it. my las nerve jus fell an i kicked an......VIOLA! the snore machine shut shop. it was temporary but i dint mind kickin her agin an agin. it was a god sent gift. when shes awake theres jus no way she'll let me even touch her, an now i was kickin! damn i loved this. but then it jus got borin in 30 min like every other thing i do. so by 2:00 in the nite i was bak on my window, spyin on those in the closeby building. after a bit of scannin i saw a guy in shorts (boy does it get any more better??!!!) so i amused myslef starin at a semi nude guy movin all around his appartment.then he sat watchin tv an guess wut? a woman came in. followin her came a kid. oook so the guy i was spyin mite be probably in his 30s, was married, had one (or more) kids. but wut the heck. i wasnt gonna marry him neways.
so i waited till 3 tried amusin myslef by makin him do stuff in my head, then got bored so i went kicked my cousin .this time she woke up but bein the slumber babe that she threatened me with "the eye" n went bak to sleep. so by 3 i was bak on my bed wonderin wut to do next an b4 i know i blacked out. got up 6 in d morn (mom dunno i stay awake in the nite so no sleepin late). am lookin like a zombie, feelin like im stoned an well got nothin to do, so i thot id post somethin in here b4 i started watchin tv( i like fallin asleep watchin tv).
thats bout it so i guess i shud go. so buhbye an PLEASE PPL post somethin.cept for an annonymous my sites like void.

ERSATZ

Cradled by faith to believe something bygone,
Suckled by pain till frigidity throngs,
You close your eyes to avoid the darkness outside
Only to realise it’s darker inside.

Hope evanesces at an unbelievable pace
As edifices of dreams crumbles in your face,
You’re falling as you see, your withering you can feel,
But all you do is sit and stare like you don’t care.

Wayward thoughts enter in and close
The doors and windows to sanity.
Are sympathy and affection left in the cold-
As you sink into the womb of ignorance?

Endless questions arise,
As you stagger under the burden of being strong.
You wonder if you really want to win,
The game you have played for so long.

You look around you and it appals you,
To look at the muted screams,
Exploding behind the ersatz smiles,
Pasted on covetous faces.

You look in the mirror and see,
Eyes so hollow, they don’t attempt to speak.
You look in the mirror and see someone else,
A self-donned mask that has now imprisoned you,
Making you look like something that will never be true.

Disregard comforts,
As days turn darker than nights,
Truth extinguishes erasing the path to verity,
Will you be stuck in this bottomless fall-
That lies between life and mortality?

WITHERED LEAF

Withered leaf
Deep darkness, tentacles spread wide,
Seeping madness, flows inside,
Night winds whispering dread,
Unleashing qualms into a silent night.

As green turns grey, rustling leaves pray,
Trickle by trickle, numbness builds,
From warmth to cold and then decay sets in.

What lies beyond, lies unknown,
What is to come cannot be foretold,
Linger on for what awaits,
Trepidation faints, pain gives away.

Turmoil arises, muted roars explode,
As he falls into unknown,
Placidness flows, eyes close,
The withered leaf silently goes.