Ode to Moshpit Yuppies

It’s on all the streets you crossed till now,
The eyes and the bits of integrity that stayed behind
Leaving you
Fraying at the edges
What will you be if you keep walking?
Will you disappear?
And will you walk yourself into a nice little coven
Inhibitors of grey walls and vertiginous elevators
Those barren 6 by 11 ones that heave and toss you around
Throws you into wars
With your bedspreads and newspapers
Fighting and spilling tears on the truth till it changes
Into apathy - pills and tranquil-shots
One, two, three, maybe fourteen

And you look so pretty there
Pouting your cigarette-tanned lips, your eyes rolled to your left
Thrashed and drained out of your brains
Full of green-vein maps
On a one-way street to misery, mumbling cheap subway poetry

Light me a fire, baby
Maybe we will put on a pretty-dark, pretty-grim scene
Nod our heads and bang our brains out
Knocking into each other
Trusting to break
Onto the other side

The birds in the sky sang today, you wonder how you never noticed it before. It isn’t particularly beautiful but there is something about it, the way it slips in and out of the sunshine that streaks the maudlin-blue Plexiglas windows creating light blue shapes dancing all over the room. Outside, there is a man with the biggest, most luminous grin holding the door open for me. I couldn’t help grin back - creasing my jaw and holding it still till every muscle in my face ached. The children yelped in joy and swam haywire in the pool, each shimmering brown body an amalgam of bliss and forgetfulness. From a disintegrating, ancient headphone, I heard Born Under a Bad Sign and nodded along. Tunnananananun. Tun. Twantwantwantwang. I held hands, shook my head, grinned and walked into the sunlight and back into archaic foundations full of people jostling and crying out to each other, clicking photographs and holding themselves and each other from toppling over due to sheer excitement. I yelled a few names, a few hundred extraordinary, incandescent faces twirled. Somebody called out to me. We hugged and jumped around. I remember falling but couldn’t feel pain. It was surreal, I was as high as a kite, I must have had something really strong, they say.

- It’s just been a long time since I was happy, I say.

Everything was so perfect this way, even my joblessness, even my loneliness. Everything was touched by a hint of auricular April sunlight.