QUISQUILIOUS DEBALTERATIONS
Its silent now. Loneliness is welcome till it finally comes. The song about love is playing and it suddenly makes me blue. I am singing out loud and almost crying. I am craving to hear someone talk. For someone to make me laugh or just tell me I am stupid. I ask the air to tell me something. Whoo. Well, that’s what you get when you don’t appreciate company. It’s the phone ringing and I almost scream with joy. It’s her and she wants to know if I will go to the mall with her and the others. I almost cry now. 'yes yes yes!!!' she laughs and asks "why lady, why so happy?" I am still too choked with happiness to talk. I just switch off the phone. Come Wednesday everything goes wrong. I am looking like a hag, feeling like a dope and more than looking forward to meeting them. An hour before I am supposed to leave she calls again, "hey, there’s bad news. We cant go today. I have to help mom with the cleaning up and then have to go to the youth group party. Mind if we cancel it?"
Too angry to care.
"Sure. Not like I really matter is it? I mean what you can thrash me around and who cares? I am insignificant anyways. Go ahead, go for the jam. You shouldn’t have called. I should have come to the mall and then been dumped. That would have been fun wouldn’t it?"
"But..."
"Bye"
I keep the phone down and get some real loud music to blast the house with. Mom went out with her friends and I am all alone. Loaded with two mugs of honey and coffee and a wad of gum I switch on loud music and hate it. So I switch to something cheery. And suddenly things seem ca va. I smile and sing aloud. A phone call that I switch off. But he calls again.
"So you don’t pick my calls anymore huh?" he sounds pissed and I give him a laugh.
"Seems like your girlfriend dumped you."
"Idid."
I laugh again. "Tell me. I got all the time in the world."
"She keeps me. ME, waiting at the theatre for HALF AN HOUR and then doesn’t bother with a sorry even. I mean…"
Suddenly things don’t seem so bad. Still feel and look like shit but something tells me its ok. Enjoy whatever little time you aren’t alone.
Too angry to care.
"Sure. Not like I really matter is it? I mean what you can thrash me around and who cares? I am insignificant anyways. Go ahead, go for the jam. You shouldn’t have called. I should have come to the mall and then been dumped. That would have been fun wouldn’t it?"
"But..."
"Bye"
I keep the phone down and get some real loud music to blast the house with. Mom went out with her friends and I am all alone. Loaded with two mugs of honey and coffee and a wad of gum I switch on loud music and hate it. So I switch to something cheery. And suddenly things seem ca va. I smile and sing aloud. A phone call that I switch off. But he calls again.
"So you don’t pick my calls anymore huh?" he sounds pissed and I give him a laugh.
"Seems like your girlfriend dumped you."
"Idid."
I laugh again. "Tell me. I got all the time in the world."
"She keeps me. ME, waiting at the theatre for HALF AN HOUR and then doesn’t bother with a sorry even. I mean…"
Suddenly things don’t seem so bad. Still feel and look like shit but something tells me its ok. Enjoy whatever little time you aren’t alone.
posted by De.vile at 12:26 PM
14 Comments:
it gives me gr8 pleasure to enter a virgin post.
'UR STUPID'
Ok.... dat shud make u happy. I wish dat same comment wud make kesh happy too but no it doesnt work wid Kesh.
if u dont like being alone means ur lousy company.
and so u have to play loud music to drown yr tots.
ur in a sorry state girl. Start learning to love your self and yr tots. Then only will u be truly happy- and self reliant.
They call it masturbation.
But its cool.
-Saby
Sorry about your bounced backwards plans! I have friends that are 50/50 with plans. They make a break plans constantly!! Sooo much actually I plan other plans around them blowing me off for back up!!!! Scary right?!?!?!
Alone time I actually like a lot, even when I was younger. I used to go to concerts, movies, libraries, restaurants by myself all the time. I used to call it a date night with myself. I guess I am a pretty self-absorbed individual. I always kinda understood me better then the rest of the world. It sucks being alone all the time that is for sure, but to have some time to yourself is a gift.
Take care
I agree with BM on this one. Goon one mate.. Being with your ownself is very essential deville. There have been instances(too many..) where I have gone the movies alone. Though it sucked big time but hey it was fun too. U r on ur own man.. Do whatever u feel like since there is no one to bug u then. Whenever I am alone I just pick up my bike and burn the roads as much as I can. Somehow I feel better, INSTANTLY... I dun know why, but this remedy alwayss works. Balls to such plans girl!! Grow up and live life yourstyle.
Hope this brings the smile back.
Cheers,
Firacub.
You rock. Your friends are fools to loose out on a chance to hang with you.
And you are never really alone once you get a few steps out your door.
Chikka I love the company of myself...this is something I always say :)
But it's not that I always want to be alone either...I value my friends and family more than anything else in this world...but when I have the time for for myself, to ponder alone, to listen to some good music just by myself, to watch a movie at home with no one around to bury it with their chatter, to be in the bath tub and not worry about any phone calls or mum yelling my name...those are some precious times I always treasure when encountered without seeking them...
Keshi.
gosh u guys. thanks for all that an BM im gonna get some dates with myself. who needs em men neways? lol
thanks guys
thank u saby, u grand old fart for tellin me i need a life. that comes from someone who needsa woman to screw an cant get off his ciggys...
heyyy devile
i dont smoke normally
only when my ass is on fire
no fire
no smoke
and as u wished
i made one more blogg
hope ur not an english man/wooman
my new blogg is titled :'mad dogs and englishmen'
Whaaaattttt... Saby???? one more post!!!!!!!!
Firacub.
Fira,
SHUT THE FUCK UP !
i can have as many bloggs/wives/lovers
as i want
not only u muslim guys
-Saby
Devile,
the more i see of u
the more i am convinced
dat ur an angel in disguise
-Saby
OK ..Ashes ..... i just threw my hat in the ring ..... u got competition
I understand how you feel. I have been alone for almost 4 months.. the pain still stay deep down my heart.
Love can be so beautiful and SUX in a same time!
i repeat ur advice to you;life isnt all that bad kid
best regards, nice info order lexapro online Nokia 6820 blackberry Brest cancer bill in house Tramadol 180 tabs adderall Natural forms of antidepressants Pet sofa covers casino sportsbook scanners barcode Chinese lesbian masturbating Acuvue advance price abe lurie moving company Sony clie peg t415s pda http://www.cheapphonecalls5.info
If you're feeling alone, I suppose that could hurt. Look at it from her side, and you'll see she wanted to go out with you, but then had to do something else. It's not as though she canceled in order to go with someone else.
So don't feel so bad. Sometimes that happens. Next time u'll actually go.
Post a Comment
<< Home