LOVE MARKED ME A "REJECT"

Love collided into me on the park bench and mumbled voiceless sentences. Love had taken the form of a friend on a cold winter afternoon…if we could be called that. I barely talked, we hardly met, and our affections ended with…well…that’s a totally different story. But she was the closest I ever had for a friend. I was a silent 10 year old, dull and lost and all. With huge eyes that stared without a tinge of curiosity. My eyes have grown smaller but on ‘low’ days, I can see the stare lurking in the corners threatening me with a visit. I look away. She was cheerful, had more friends then than I might ever have. But she was different around me. Our two contrary worlds came together to morph into an eccentric world. Our World.

6 years had gone by. All the insubstantial changed-she was happier, taller and thinner, I was 5 inches taller than then, had grown even more ‘into myself’ as she put it. What mattered still remained-the silence, the almost uninterested feel, the strange affection. My grandmother’s funeral was the only reason for us to meet again. She decided we should go to her favourite spot-a bench outside the park. Wooden formalities and ersatz smiles exchanged, we found ourselves with nothing left. So we sat, watching-like two insignificant gods. Just like the old days when time used to push us away into the confines of infinity, a desired infinity.

As we watched a kid fell from the swing. She cursed. ’Shit’. Amusement stabbed me when I least expected it. My lips curled into a grin and before I knew I was howling with mirthless laughter. I heard high-pitched giggles besides me. Giggles that bought memories I had forgotten existed-whining, ice candies, harmless lies, happy parents…I turned to look right into her face. I had never seen that look after the day I fell headlong onto the crowded school corridor as I was rushing towards her. We let the last glance linger for she knew as well as I did that we had no reason to meet again. The smiles were still on our faces and she was still recovering from her fit of giggles when she closed her eyes to blink back a tear. Silly me, I was embarrassed.
‘Shit’.