My intolerance with pain makes me think death will be relatively numbed for me.

(K: If that was the only option I had, I'd pick terrified death, but I prefer a more nullified, peaceful version of death to living forever when it comes to it)

Because I felt like it

Sometimes I do the wrong things just to look back and like my life in all it's imperfectness. Atwood has nothing to do with it, she just reminded me of my grandmother, the one who lived on medication and tears and died in absolute peace unaware of cancer, too busy trying to overtake heart-attacks.