Monday, July 30, 2007

Monday, July 31, 2007

It isn’t often that I win an award so I’m thankful to WUBA *does the V sign* and Saby/Jim/Anonymous for voting me into competition.

While still reading about cold blood murderers and after watching Psycho for 3 weeks in a row, there aren’t many people you trust, especially the ones that you seem to take a liking for. While she lit up a cigarette the feeling dawned in me that if I moved my head fast it will fall off – just twist and twirl off my neck, gracelessly plopping into the red coaster garnished by peanut shells. I grab my arm and rub my wrist and the soft skin above my elbow to feel an electric hollow, soft and ethereal. To feel a million balloons under my skin, fuzzing and ready to break. I scream as an involuntary response to seeing a friend eat a burning roach while the other one burned my arm with flakes of burning paper. They all spoke, louder and faster by the minute and I thought if I sat there any longer I might faint. A man passes by, fixing me with a stare and I see a million rings on his lips, ears, mouth and nose and I want him to come closer so I can smell the putrid sweat.

-What did you say?
- What?
- Are you drunk on that much?!
- (chuckle) Jee-ya

Well then, life goes on. For the first time I let the Bombay sun burn my back to toast without cringing. It is boredom and restlessness that makes alcoholics and addicts of us. Sometimes criminals. Sometimes petty thieves. Sometimes suicidal. I consider my motive standing in the middle of the road as a truck whooshes past me. I could fall now, who cares, or attend my meeting. And I do the latter. Sitting in between people who don’t like me much I consider if I should scream out watching the girl beside me scream at me. I watch her eyes bulge out and hear her teeth grind, she talks of blood, gore, violence and I sit and grin considering the appropriate reaction.

I do nothing till I wear out. I spend the whole afternoon amongst computers and people who slowly stop eating bottles and hollering. I wasn’t scared but I did consider breaking my head into the computer screen till they played Radiohead.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Rex Venom said...

Sweet old insanity.
Like a visit from an old friend.
Rock on!

12:21 AM  
Blogger Ashes said...

you never did acid as far as I know.But well,I am a bit skeptical now(hehe)

I used to see serpents crawling up the walls and beer bottles that breathe,ejecting bright yellow sunflowers per minute.

and it's not bordeom or restlessness.They are just excuses.The real reason is weakness.Only the most depreaved and weak amongst us resort to such things to wipe away the reality we dont fit in and are too impotent to change.I should know.been there done that.

oh and hey congrats for the award

2:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Rex, Ashes:
Nope, it isn't insanity (well not that much)/acid. It's just a drunken afternoon where at the back of my head I knew it was silly but that's what my eyes saw. I think more when I'm drinking than otherwise is all.

11:30 PM  
Blogger DLAK said...

Dont jump under a truck that will just fuck the driver up for ever. The only time I'm not suicidal is when Im drunk.
What meeting? And: Its hard to belive you consider Saby a trusted friend LOL

8:45 AM  

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