Tuesday, August 23, 2005

MY BOOKER PRIZE

MY BOOKER PRIZE


I wrote the first lines of my diary. Those were beautiful, very, very funny. I could see the lights, the glitz and the glamour in that line. The glitterati at my feet, people who would love me because they couldn't understand me. All the parties and the fame; teenagers who wouldn't read, asking, begging me to sign autographs because their friends who read told them I rocked. I was the favourite author of so many. Parents wouldn't let their kids read the book, not because they were sexually explicit but because that was weird. Because they didn't want their kids to be me, no one did. Because I would be the new god-the youngest writer, awed, admired and secretly adored. And old men who spammed my blog would run behind me to get me to sign contracts with other old men, their friends to whom they bragged that they knew me from my pre-famous days as a kid who they thought was lean and flat. I wouldn't be anymore, I would have enough money to stuff myself, not that I need any. I would tuck and pull and soon would be photographed in bikinis riding in expensive cars with rich men, not necessarily handsome because they could never be so. All the money stuffed up their buttocks would make sure they grew ugly, and I would love them because I could hate them all and still be loved. I would be hooked with the juiciest and the famous ones. I would be cheap, rich and a bitchy diva. All because I had money. I would be photographed more, and soon be called one of the sexiest. I would be this, that and little more of this.

Then one fine day, I would be a slut.

And then another day I would be caught doing drugs/on a kinky video tape/indulging in smuggling/stealing.

I would fall, slowly at first, and then I would be there, still. Waiting, the dark would spread with all that I loved before. Anonymity and silence, except for the loud voices of my dreams and words; but there would be something wrong. I was scared of them, my own children, I would be scared and lost. I would want more of the lights, that shone bright in their neon loudness, mercilessly butchering my own. This time all alone-where I belonged, I would be scared and tired.

Moist, sea opens up above,
Where the lights shone bright and enticing,
I wait underground, for a sign,
A duller light that shone in simple delight.

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17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

just what do u want little girl?
what do u want from life?

how about Love?
dont u want to love, and be loved?

not bcoz ur rich and famous
but just bcoz ur u

such guys do exist
they dont want your money

they only want u
but who are u?

like the Austraylayn u gott to reveal who ur

and for evry wooman
there is a man

to Love somebody is to make yourself vulnerable

revealing your body is easy
rveealing your soul is tuff

your deepest fears
your deepest sorrows

your dreamz of a heaven
what is dat heaven u have conjured up for your self ?

i do agree material riches is not heaven

u just give a 10 Re. note to an old beggar wooman
who was only expecting 50 paise

the blessings dat she gives u in dat look

dat tells u
ur crazy or an angel

its only when u do good to others wid yr wealth given by God
use your talent in riting to reach out to ppl

dont wallow in your sorrows
dat is self-pity
and is didgusting


i tink i have said enuuff
and i sound like a padre

so read dis and delete it pronto
dis is gonna fuck up my image

dat u get true riches

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dat u get true riches
shud have appeared in the body of dis sermsn

some where above

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why care for the image?!

9:36 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Epitome of glitzz n glam...well-written piece...

Keshi.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Ashes said...

"Fortune,fame,mirrors vain,gone insane..but the memory reamins..heavy rings on fingers wave..another star denies the grave..see the nowhere crowd..hear the nowhere cheers of honour.
Like twisted vines that grow..hide and sollow mansions whole..and dim the lights of an already faded prima-dona"
I would be laughing at you with mockery while you are the bitchy prima-donna and when you go crazy with oblivion,i'd be there like a haunting memory.God! i'd love that.

6:31 PM  
Blogger DLAK said...

Money stuffed up ones buttocks would make you a nice pinata. Your better off underground, those above are all vampires.

1:57 PM  
Blogger De.vile said...

Amen

6:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey chikka,

Visit my 'Great Expectations' post will ya...theres a pic of half of me there :) if ur interested to see me that is...hehe..

I dont look that 'hot' like a celebrity.If u trust me enough,you can send me ur piccy too.I'd like to see the person writing so well!


Keshi.

5:21 AM  
Blogger wwww said...

Great writing.

The content is not a matter.. People perceptions and acceptance are myths – That is how I look at it lately

Your happiness is what matter.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Vikas Kaul said...

good work.

if this is what you think of rich/famous people, wouldn't one call it stereotypical?

else wonderfully thought and knit.


if-else!! gotta get back to work!

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey chikka,

Thanks for the compliment.I really dont look good n all.I am an average girl...thnks anyway.It meant a lot to me.


HUGGGGGGGZZZZZ!

You can send me ur pic anytime babez!whoz in hurry?lollllz

~~~~kookie leaves chikka's blog marilyn monroe style~~~



Kookie-aka-Keshi

3:36 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

above comment isnt by me Chikka...some 'ugly' dude with no self-confidence goes on posting comments like me.

Chikka thanks for the compliments ;-) Yep pass it on when u get one scanned...wud luv to see ya gurl.

Keshi.

5:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a word pic of her Kesh,
she has a sharp beak like nose
and thin lips

eyes of cold blue
one stare of those piercing eyes will make yr blood curdle

she has good firm boobs
but she wears a sports bra

coz she dont now to respond to those lascivious stares

her hips are neat and trim
but when she wears jeans

her butt looks even better than
J-Lo

she wud be lovely
if only she wud smile at me

4:29 PM  
Blogger De.vile said...

My eyes arent blue, my nose isnt beak-like and I havent worn a sports bra in years.

But yes, as far as the butt goes its true

6:30 PM  
Blogger {illyria} said...

see? this is what i've been missing. that was beautifully crafted. as always.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Rex Venom said...

Things are rarely what we think they are, right?
Rock on!

9:15 AM  
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9:07 PM  

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